The Dentist

Units of alochol: None! Yaay!

Calories: 515. UM I rock. Although this doesn't include dinner.

Weight: +1 lbs

Food consumed today:

Guiltless Santa Fe Chicken Wrap with Veggies: 610 calories (BUT I only ate half, so really that's like 305)

Edy's individual ice cream (fudge brownie) 210 calories

That 1 pound really freaked me out.

SO ANYWAY...

So I kind of forgot to go to the dentist for the last year and a half. It always seemed so unnecessary and frivolous and annoying. Although I'm sure my parents would disagree with this point after spending thousands of dollars on braces to give me the beautiful smile that we all know and love today.

Okay. So I finally made an appointment. I walked in to Cromwell Dental and all I see are granite countertops, a espresso machine and supermodel hygienists walking around. AND, I kid you not. They offered me an espresso and a cookie.

I politely (against every instinct) declined, I was convinced this was some sort of test.

I went in expecting a cleaning, a free toothbrush and a lecture about flossing. What I got was a free recyclable shopping back, a mug, a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss and told that I would need to come back later that week for a root canal.

WHAT?!

I have barely had any cavities in my life. A root canal?! Am I 80 years old? Who gets/needs those?! I had arrived a confident person and left in shame convincing myself it was no big deal I reminisced about all the horror stories about root canals.

Flash forward to Thursday at 4:45 pm. I walk in and was offered water. What!? No cookies?? As I'm sitting there waiting to be called in I realized that I forgot to take a Xanax. Crap. Finally the hygienist came to get me and lead me to the room where the procedure would take place.

You know how they say you will meet someone when you least expect it? Well I have to be honest. I never least expect it. I am ALWAYS expecting it. I am frequently trying to look cute while walking the dog, going grocery shopping, even at the gym, because hey, you never know.

So this was probably the one time in my life when I was least excepting it. I was wearing jeans, a T-shirt and flip flops from GapKids...and in walks the man of my dreams. I gasp and then I quickly glance at his left hand, nope, no wedding ring. Can we just go over all that is wrong with this scenario...

A. I am dressed like a 15 year old

B. I decided not to redo my makeup because, hey, who cares! It's a root canal.

C. I AM GETTING A ROOT CANAL. How embarrassing is that?

Kill me.

Do you know how hard it is to flirt when you have dental tools shoved in your mouth? I think I did an okay job, I laughed at all his jokes. Which, by the way, were the corniest jokes ever. At one point he grabbed the spit sucker and said, "wow, this sucks". Ha (okay it was kind of funny).

The best part is when he was injecting the novocain and caressing my cheek. I think we almost made it to second base.

So after an hour of prodding he informed me that I would have to come back next week so he could finish. HA, yeah right. Some excuse.

Can we say destination wedding?!